Kirsten first met Travis at the Blue Lagoon discoteque in downtown Santa Cruz. It was Kirsten's Junior year at UCSC and Travis' second-to last year at the same school. They were introduced by Dennis Karlinsky, a Jewish émigré who fled the pograms of his native country--Mother Russia--so he could matchmake the dewey-eyed couple. Dennis' woman of the time, Jessica Vodak, who was known among her friends in Los Angeles (where she went to high school) as Vodka, also helped introduce them.

Travis was immediately fascinated by Kirsten's many, many endearing qualities. The qualities are so endearing, in fact, that he is forced to omit them from this treatise in interest of brevity. Upon introduction, Travis forgot which girl he was supposedly introduced to--but his error was rectified in time to prevent tragedy. Kirsten, meanwhile, held giggling conferences with her sister Meredith and their cohorts.

Kirsten shortly admitted that her last name is Smith and her middle Hillary. Travis goes by Travis Andrew Finucane among officials of the Republic.

There remains some dispute over what was their First Date. Kirsten will recount various ill-defined occasions during which her better half engorged upon leftover burritos and dazzled everybody with his wit and maltreatment of his male friends to appear better by contrast. They ate, laughed, danced, and generally had a time of getting to know each other. Kirsten made Travis' heart melt at the sight of her--although it soon came back to her that he had described her as quirky.

Later, Kirsten helped Travis purchase a small used sofa for his room. His room was the best of a not very good place, and much better than some he's had. Kirsten shared a room with her sister. She grew things in pots in the back, and her housemates destroyed things. Kirsten moved, then moved again, this time with Travis into the bottom half of a large house in Aptos. There they remained beneath Freja and Adam until Travis insisted she marry him. That is to say, insisted Kirsten marry him.

He asked her at the beach in Waimanalo Bay, Oahu, following his Mother's and friend Idris' suggestion. After much stuttering and confusion, he made himself clear to the befuddled lambkins, who--upon realizing the plight her beloved had gotten himself into--assuaged his fears and hugged him, saying "Yes! You bet!"

The rest, as they say, is a never-ending torture of plans, counterplans, schemes, events beyond anyone's control and an overwhelmingly Barbarosa-like set of machinations leading up to the Campaign that has been born of our wedding plans. Kirsten thinks things are going well, though.